"What if this is as good as it gets?"

I don't know if I have blogged about this before, but I have real issues with looking to the future, for things to get better. I have "grass is greener" symptoms. I always think that things are going to be so much better when...... Today, this movie line "what if this is as good as it gets." popped into my head. I've thought about it all day. At first the phrase seems a little negative, as though, things suck, and it isn't getting any better. But after some thought and a chat with dear Barbara tonight, I realize that what I need to do is see that question more positively. This point in our lives is good, I should be grateful to be here and live now, and here in this moment. What if this is it, who am I going to be today, what am I going to do today to reach tomorrow. To be the person that I want to be everyday instead of waiting around for the day when it is going to get better.

Obvious to anyone who knows my life, you know that I am speaking mostly of my sweet husbands schedule and work load, and stress factors. I know that I need to be supportive of his job and calling, but I keep thinking about the day when he won't need so much support and he will be able to turn around and support me in my job. I realize now that things are changing at every moment, everyday my kids wake up one day older. By the time Brent has more time to be around the house (which may never happen) , the kids will be older. My baby will be almost in kindergarten, if not older, and I will not need that as much. Then I'll be kickin' him out of the house. ;-) I can't wait for tomorrow anymore. This is as good as it gets, so I vow to be happy here. To try with all my might not to be a stupid stress case,

(BTW: I got an email from Alex's teacher today.... not good. Some thing about a foot in the toilet and wet shoes and socks.... arg, that boy and playing in the bathroom!!!)

Again, try not to be a stress case, (know that his teacher has dealt with a lot of children in her years, mine isn't the first to play in the potty.) I need to relax a little. Maybe I'll stop clenching my teeth at night if I actually follow through with this vow. I recognize that I am extremely blessed with a great life, wonderful family and friends, the gospel of Jesus Christ, enough to get by comfortably, and so so much more.

HERE'S TO LIVING FOR TODAY AND PREPARING FOR TOMORROW!
(we'll see if it works :-) )