Confessions!!!!

OKAY, Everyone brace themselves. I LOVE New Kids On The Block. Always have, went to a concert when i was just a little bopper and just found out that they released a new single on May 13th called "Summertime". They are also going on tour. They'll be here in DC on October 2nd. Tickets go on sale tomorrow at 11am. Anyone for a throwback good time with me??? Come on out of the closet you NKOTB lovers!!!

"What if this is as good as it gets?"

I don't know if I have blogged about this before, but I have real issues with looking to the future, for things to get better. I have "grass is greener" symptoms. I always think that things are going to be so much better when...... Today, this movie line "what if this is as good as it gets." popped into my head. I've thought about it all day. At first the phrase seems a little negative, as though, things suck, and it isn't getting any better. But after some thought and a chat with dear Barbara tonight, I realize that what I need to do is see that question more positively. This point in our lives is good, I should be grateful to be here and live now, and here in this moment. What if this is it, who am I going to be today, what am I going to do today to reach tomorrow. To be the person that I want to be everyday instead of waiting around for the day when it is going to get better.

Obvious to anyone who knows my life, you know that I am speaking mostly of my sweet husbands schedule and work load, and stress factors. I know that I need to be supportive of his job and calling, but I keep thinking about the day when he won't need so much support and he will be able to turn around and support me in my job. I realize now that things are changing at every moment, everyday my kids wake up one day older. By the time Brent has more time to be around the house (which may never happen) , the kids will be older. My baby will be almost in kindergarten, if not older, and I will not need that as much. Then I'll be kickin' him out of the house. ;-) I can't wait for tomorrow anymore. This is as good as it gets, so I vow to be happy here. To try with all my might not to be a stupid stress case,

(BTW: I got an email from Alex's teacher today.... not good. Some thing about a foot in the toilet and wet shoes and socks.... arg, that boy and playing in the bathroom!!!)

Again, try not to be a stress case, (know that his teacher has dealt with a lot of children in her years, mine isn't the first to play in the potty.) I need to relax a little. Maybe I'll stop clenching my teeth at night if I actually follow through with this vow. I recognize that I am extremely blessed with a great life, wonderful family and friends, the gospel of Jesus Christ, enough to get by comfortably, and so so much more.

HERE'S TO LIVING FOR TODAY AND PREPARING FOR TOMORROW!
(we'll see if it works :-) )

Kids Day

Tori, on Mothers Day, uttered the words that EVERY child does at some point in their lives, "Mommy, why isn't there such thing as Kids day?" To which she got the standard response of a parent "Every day is Kids Day!". Then we realized, that isn't true, everyday is not kids day, they don't have a special day where they get their Breakfast in bed, and get cards that tell them how cool they are. Sure, they have their birthdays, but so do we. So this past Saturday was Kids Day in the Wall house. The festivities started on Friday evening when we took the kids to Toys R Us (Alex had Birthday $ to spend and everyone else left a little disappointed, but oh well) Then we drove through Mc D's and took is to a park. We spread the blanket, had a picnic and then played on the playground till nearly 8:00. When we got home, the kids grabbed pillows and blankets and headed down stairs for their sleepover. 

They layed in their bed and watched Narnia (even katie stayed for a while). Then the chatted and messed around until almost midnight. The next morning we served them breakfast in bed, and gave them home made cards (this was requested). This also was the perfect time to break out the Wii that I purchased a few weeks ago. ( I wanted to get one for Christmas, but resisted... then for the past 5 months I keep seeing more and more games and stuff that the kids would love. Also the Wii Fit looks really cool (for me) ) So that was their gift. Admitedly a rather large gift, but oh well. They broke out the Wii and played it all morning until Alex and Tori headed over to the Jensen's for Micah's Birthday party. Liza played Wii the whole time, and Katie took a nap, while I ran to the grocery store. When the party was over, Liza, Alex and Brent went to the new Narnia movie in theaters while Tori and I painted and got ready for our cook out. When they got home we headed out to Patapsco State park for a cook out with the Jensens. 

We had Hot Dogs, Bratwurst, pineapple, salads, and of course Cheetos. The kids had a blast playing and getting really dirty. We finished off the night with some SMORES!! MMMM. And then headed home to end our Kids Day. All the kids were in such a good mood all day, and I think it really boosted the moral around here. :-)

A few more Addy Shots

Thanks to Kevin for some lessons, we adjusted the colors so that they look better on my blog.  Always helps to know a computer wiz.

Had to post this cuz I am so excited

I got to take a couple shots of little Addy today.  This one is my favorite!     

ARGGG!!!!

Not long after I had Katie, I dropped right down to my pre baby weight.  Then In the past few months I have put on 10 lbs.  I found out about all the hypo thyroid stuff, and am now on medications and feeling a lot better.  It was nice to find out that my laziness and fatigue had and excuse and now that I have my energy back I can try to kick these 10 lbs in the butt.  Well, the first month I ate less then normal.  I ate smaller portions and left the table satisfied, but just barely.  I continued to work out and in that time I lost a pound and then swiftly gained it back.  So for the past two weeks I have been eating more veggies then any person should.  They have reeked havoc on my digestive track, and I was really hoping that this would be the ticket.  After 2 weeks of eating like a rabbit, Nothing, not one pound!!!!  I am soooo frustrated with this.  Why deprive yourself and eat like that, and work out 3 times a week for nothing!  Oh, I am so frustrated!  I am at a loss.  I am off to eat the biggest piece of Chocolate Cake known to man!

Yard Sale

Saturday at 6:30 am I was up driving around Columbia with my bright green signs and packing tape getting all my signs up to advertise for the big sale.  I got home and started loading stuff onto the lawn as my husband ran out the door to work.  (yup, on a saturday, after working darn near 60 hours mon - fri, and carrying a pager that woke him up several times in the night) *sorry, just had to whine about that for a second*  I hauled all that junk up from the basement and stuck it out on the lawn.  I was trying to keep the kids asleep as long as possible, so I was trying to keep quite and keep the dog quiet too.   I had Chinook locked in the kitchen, or so I thought, until he darted out and took off full speed ahead.  Dang dog!!!  I followed him around for over 30 minutes, not chasing, just trying to coax him home.  After he went so far away from my house that I couldn't see it anymore, I had to call Ellen (my neighbor) to come over and check on my kids.  Here I had invited everyone and their dog to come to my house, and now I've left it wide open with my four children and all that we own inside.  Lucky for me, Ellen is a sweet woman who was willing to run over and find all 3 (Liza was at a seep over) of my children awake and wandering around the house calling out... mommy... mommy.  She had them all sit on the sofa and watch tv while she stood in the yard watching for me chasing the dog.   Luckily a fellow dog owner saw me chasing Chinook and came out for a walk with her dog, Joshua.  Chinook took the bait and I got him when he was taking a good sniff of Joshua.  Back home in time to continue setting up.  The kids got dressed and came out to run their little "store" at the yard sale.  We stayed out all day and made about $80.  Not too bad.  But when I did the math of now long it took me to collect the crap, make the signs, put up the signs, stand out in the yard, pack all the left over crap into the car, take down the signs and run it all to good will,  I probably made about $2/hour.  :-)  Oh well it was fun, and you know, I only do yard sales once a year, if that.  I feel about 1000 lbs lighter!!!  I love getting rid of junk, but I have a hard time making decisions on the spot, so I always stuff it somewhere, to decide later.  Then I get a big pile of decide stuff, and then it gets overwhelming.  I am so glad that the task is done.  We had some lovely visits from Barbara and her boys, and Vanessa and her girls (she also made a whopping $6!! from some little stuff that she brought) and we sold a change table for Suzanne for $13!  Big sales from the pals.  I got a little sun kissed as a bonus for sitting out there.  We were so lucky to have a beautiful day.  We packed it in right before the little bit of rain started.  It was a great day!  

Mower Musings

Well today I mowed the lawn for the first time ever.  Yup that's right, never mowed a lawn before.  I remember "helping" my dad with the lawn, but never mowing it.  It just got WAY out of control and I couldn't see when Brent was going to get to it before my yard sale on Saturday.  It HAD to be done.  So whilst I was out there mowing, I had a little time to think.  As I mowed I was surprised by how satisfying it is to do this job.  All you do is push this vacuum like thing around and it looks so different and so "clean".  Then I got to thinking about the stereo typical "mens jobs" and "women's jobs"  and any job that I could think of this is the situation.  Mens jobs stay done, and women's jobs are perpetual.  The lawn, when it is done, looks good and stays done for  a week to 10 days.  Nothing can undo what you just did.  When a man fixes a broken door, theoretically the door stays fixed. :-)  When he washes his car, it doesn't NEED to be washed for another 2 weeks.  On the other hand when a woman cleans the kitchen (if she is lucky enough to do it alone and actually get it to a  point that she declares it clean)  with in moments someone will need a drink or a snack,  or runs through the kitchen with their shoes on and that is the end of that!  Laundry... you're dirtying some as we speak.  Why is this??? why were women deemed all the jobs that never ever get done...  RAISING CHILDREN... that's a big one!  They're really never done.  :-)  Just a thought, I wonder a lot about the old days and how things worked, and how people fell into certain rolls.  I am sure that there was no town meeting that declared who's jobs were who's, but it just made me wonder what it is about women in general that made us, millions of years ago, gravitate towards these jobs... or was it men in general that avoided them, and the women have ALWAYS been the ones to pick up the pieces?   

Apostle song

Check this out... I thought it was cute.  

Alex's Party

Alex was torn between doing (yet another) Star wars party, and having a Scooby Doo party.  He decided on Scooby Doo.  Once the decision was made, I asked him who he would like to invite he said "Wyatt, Micah, and two girls, I guess Liza and Tori."  I began tossing out names of other friends, from church and from school.  Nope, nope, nope.  I said "Alex, there has got to be more kids that you would like to share your birthday with you."  He said, "Well, no, cuz there are only 5 people in the gang.  Wyatt is going to be Fred and Micah is going to be Shaggy, cuz Micah has brown pants and a green shirt.  Liza is going to be Velma, and Tori is Daphine."  I had to chuckle at my boy, he is so funny.  He had the whole thing figured out.  Everyone was to come dressed as their named Character and there was to be a mystery that involved a monster and a treasure.  It made the whole birthday rather un stressful  for me.  

( I told them to pose like the poster, I think this picture is SOOOOO Funny!)

Every one showed up dressed in costume and ready to go.  Brent was assigned the mystery, and he did a great job.  The mystery was about a monster who would play music (using remotes) to distract people from his treasure.  The kids chased the music going on and off all over the house, with a few visits from the monster along the way.  They found clues where the music lead them and then followed the clues until there was a final attack by the monster where they had to rip off his mask and find that it was just "old man Wall"  pretending to be a monster to protect his Treasure.  He finished the mystery by saying "I just wanted that treasure full of Candy all to myself, and I would have had it, if it weren't for you medaling kids."  It was SO cute.  We ate some yummy hot dogs and cheetos and cake.

He had a great day, and it was heard amongst the party goers that "this was the BEST birthday party ever!"  Happy Birthday Alex! 

Mothers Day,

Ah, I look forward to this day for 6 months.   You see, my birthday is in November and Mothers Day in May.  Therefor, I get a special me day every 6 months.  Works out nice doesn't it?  Brent is so wonderful at being supper hubby, and wonder daddy on these weekends.  (he is always a great dad and hubby, but he really steps up to the plate at these times.)  I got the whole weekend off, it was wonderful.    Things actually started on Thursday when I got lilies delivered to me with a very sweet sweet card from Brent.

(I am going to type the card in here just in case I loose the original)

"Happy Mother's Day!  Your hours are the worst, and call every night stinks.... but you mean the world to five people who love you more than you know.  You have my eternal love and respect.  Thank you for being Supermom!  I love you!" 

 The lilies, though beautiful were not stargazers, which are what Brent ordered.  He was a little disappointed that he didn't get the flowers that he requested.  So on his way home from work on Friday he picked up some stargazers for me too, he told me that he wanted me to know that he knows what my favorite flowers are.  He is so sweet.  Friday night, after we put the kids to bed, Brent ran to Qdoba and got me my Favorite dinner, the Mango Chicken Salad (MMMM).  He went out for a guys night to see Iron Man, but made sure that I would have a good "mothers day eve"  watching my prerecorded Survivor episode.  The evening was wonderful, I enjoyed my peace and quiet.  I was awakened on Saturday morning to Breakfast in bed.  I ate quickly as I needed to be at a stake service project by 9am.  The kids came in with gifts and cards.  Alex gave me a plant that they planted at school.  Liza gave me a little paper flower arrangement that had things she would do for me written on the flowers.  My favorite is "I will go to sleep".  Katie and Tori got me an electric oil warmer from Bath and Body Works.  Brent has been looking for 2 years for the last piece to my mothers necklace.  I need a little shoe with Katie's birthstone in it.  We can't find one, but for mothers day Brent found out that if he takes one of our existing booties to Jared's they will replicate it.  So that was my gift from Brent.  That along with the weekend off, and a fun filled shopping trip.  

I headed off to the service project where we were making quilts for wounded solders, these quilts are beautiful and have taken a lot of man hours to complete.   they will eventually end up  at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.  Some other sisters went to a nursing home to do hand massages, sing and talk with the residence there.  Other sisters went out into the community and planted flowers and trees to beautify the area.  The day was quite a success.  I went straight from there to the mall to use my "bounce back"  coupon to New York and Company.  It was $15 off of a $30 purchase, i couldn't let that go to waste.  I got 3 shirts, a necklace and some earrings.  I really like what I got!  I met up with Christina and Jeri at the mall and had a nice time together.  It was a little too busy, I like to shop with my pals when we can all be in the change room at the same time and show each outfit.  But it was still fun.  I found a LONG denim skirt (I've been looking for one, but refused to fork out $60 plus shipping).  I am excited about that too.

I then came home to go out to dinner with Brent and the Kids.  We went to Red Robin for a relaxing dinner.  I like the environment there.  I never feel like my kids are being too disruptive.  I enjoyed our meal.  We came home and Brent bathed the kids while I skittered off to play with  Scarlett, Jeri, and Barbara and her sister in law at another Mall.  We all went to get Pedicures, our toes all look so cute!  I love getting my feet done, and having cute toes.  We then ran to squeeze in some shopping really fast, but got locked in dress barn.  (it was closing time)  It was touch and go there for a minute but we got out!  Jeri headed home with her wee baby, and Scarlett too, Barbara and her sister in law (what a jerk I am for forgetting her name) and I  stayed at the mall to see a movie.  We wanted to see "Baby Mama" but it didn't start until 11:05 so we got our tickets and headed to chillies for desert shots.  MMMMM.  We split and appetizer that had South western egg rolls, Spinich dip, and boneless chicken wings, and then had our yummy desert shots.  Everything was SO yum.  Then we headed to the movies.  Baby Mama was actually quite funny.  I enjoyed it.  I wont be buying it when it comes out, but I may invest another 2 hours and $1 from the red box when it releases.  It was quite silly.  Steve Martin is in it.  What more do I need to say.  It was quite cute.  We got home around 1:30 and I crashed till church prep time this morning.  Breakfast this morning was served by Brent, he told me that his goal this weekend to to make sure that I don't feed anyone anything.  He took over all feeding duties.  It was very very nice.  I ate a Fiber One bar in the car on the way to church (which is normal) but because it was mothers day, I got some OJ too.  (whoo hoo!!)

Mothers day at church is sometimes difficult, I am sometimes full of guilt and feeling like I'm not a very good mommy.  (totally my own fault that I feel that way, but I usually do )  I braced my self when the youth speaker informed us that the topic for today was sister Beck's talk "mothers who know".   The final speaker however was Greg Jensen, and he shared some thoughts and feelings that made me feel so much better.  Oh what inspired words he shared.  On top of his "ra ra, go mommy's" part (which I loved)  Greg shared something that really 

touched my heart.  He shared the scripture in Malichi 3:10 where they are talking about tithing and the blessings we receive for being faithful, "...if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."   Greg pondered over what that means...  not room enough to receive it....  And then he brought up how mothers have such a long list of instructions and all the things that are required of us, and how over whelmed we get.  He suggested that these lists are blessings, all this instruction is a blessing, we as mothers are so blessed to have laid out for us such detailed instructions of all the wonderful things that we can do to help our children grow, but there isn't room enough to receive it all.  There is no way that a mother can do it all, He suggested that we see the instruction and suggestions as blessings, and take as much of it as we can receive at that time and not feel guilty about the rest, for we may be able to partake of those blessings in another season of our lives.  (I started crying at this point and didn't stop until the bishop was done).  The bishop got up to share a few words when Greg was done.  I didn't get the feeling that the Bishop had planned to add his 2 cents,  so when he stood up to speak, I was a little worried that he was going to rebuke what Greg said (cuz he really really softened the blow and told mommy's to relax and just do what you can).   I should have known better though, our bishop is a loving man, and he got up and second Greg, and elaborated on his words.  He shared with us his experience with dealing with the youth in this ward, and how these kids know what is right because it is what they are taught, and told all the mommy's that their children have their agency and the most we can do is teach them the way, over and over.  It really shaped up to be a nice meeting.  I left feeling like I could do this.. recharged... which is the way it should be.

I came home from church today, had a nap, hung out on line, blogged for a bit watched my Survivor Finally, and I am off to tub and read and go to bed.  Ahhh, what a glorious weekend.

I received a lot of home made cards and papers this weekend.  So sweet.  My favorite cards are the ones that they use their own words to answer questions about mom.  Here is Alex's from today....(they did this at school)

"These are the Top Ten reasons why I love you...."

1o.  I love my mom because she reads me funy books. (little heart)

9.  I love my mom because she helps me reede (little heart)

8.  I love my mom when she makes me laugh by tickling me. (little heart)

7.  I love my mom because she taught me how to mac my bed (little heart)

6.  I love to hear my mom sing alot

5.  I love my mom because she finds time to dy presins for me (little heart)

4.  I know my mom cares because she tacs car of me (little heart)

3.  I know my mom is smart because she went to school (little heart)

2.  I love my mom because she works so hard at tacing car of me (little heart)

1.  I love my mom because she is the BEST MOM EVER!

I LOVE YOU MOM! Alex

Invisible Mother

( I received this in an email from Brent's cousin... it touched me, and I thought I would share it.)

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking,  'can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm Invisible.  The invisible mom.  Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: can you fix this?  Can you tie this?  Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm no even a human being.  I'm a clock to ask, "what time is it?"   I'm a satellite guide to answer, "what number is the disney channel?"  I'm a car to order, " right around 5:30 please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.  She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England.

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.  It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

"To Charlotte, with admiration fo the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book.

And I would discover what would become for me, four life changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:  No one can say who built the great cathedrals- we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam.  He was puzzled and asked the man, "why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the rood?  No one will ever see it."  And the workman replied, "because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte, I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.  No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.  You are building a great cathedral but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like and affliction.  But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.

It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.

As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.  

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table."  

That would mean I'd build a shrine or a monument to myself.  I just want him to want to come home.

And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "you're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals.

We cannot be seen if we're doing it right

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at wheat we have build, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

 

We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Great Job, Mom!!!

FYI

7 years ago, on April 14th 2001, I bought a box of  1500 toothpicks at the dollar store.  Brent teased me about my economy box of toothpicks and questioned me how long it takes to go through 1500 toothpicks.  I wrote the date on the box right there and then, and it has moved around with us ever since.  Well folks apparently it takes about 7 years!  I recall a spill at one point where we lost quite a few to a dirty kitchen floor, but you have to account for accidents too. So next time you fork out a whole 100 pennies for a box of 1500 toothpicks, know that you have invested in 7 years of pricking cakes, coloring frostings, and even some picking of teeth.  (honestly I can't remember the last time I used a toothpick for that purpose. :-))

2 kinds of people

Years ago Brent and I were playing games with our friends Pat and April.  We were playing a game that required each person to have a bunch of chips.  We had a laugh as we noticed that Patrick and I had our pieces all lumped in our own little messy piles, while Brent and April (who is a nurse) had their pieces all nicely organized in even stacks.  We had a little discussion about how we ended up with each other,  and wondered what happens when a "piler" marries a "piler" or a "stacker" marries a "Stacker".  We also wondered how early in life this is manifested.   And today, I found out that at as early as 2 years old, a person will manifest...... "piler" or "stacker".  I gave Katie these grape halves in a big pile (being a piler) and moments later, she had them neatly arranged.  Ah, finally a kid that will keep her stuff organized.  (LOL, YEAH RIGHT!) 

Which one are you?

4.8 lbs - 7 years old!

Today my sweet boy turned 7!  How on earth did that happen?  Which was also what I was asking myself 7 years ago today.... 

We were in that peachy point in our lives, one sweet little 2 yr old and a baby on the way.  His due date was June 22nd ( I believe), so we were not ready what so ever for a new baby.  We went out for a walk as a family,  on a beautiful spring evening in Philadelphia, PA.  As Brent and I chatted, we took turns "chasing" Liza to keep her entertained.  Nothing too crazy though.  As we walked home I complained to Brent that the "braxton hicks" were crazy bad tonight.  We got home and I put Liza in the Tub.  As I sat with her I watched the clock and realized that these contractions were coming very evenly.  I called my Dr. (who happened to be on call at the hospital that night, and was already there)  He told me to come in, just to be safe.  We puttered around and took Liza to a sitter.  At this point the contractions were getting quite uncomfortable, but I still didn't think that I was actually in Labor.  In Philly, you registered down stairs and then someone from L&D came down to get you and take you up.  As we waited another sister in the ward came in and was registering.  We had a good laugh, as she was 2 weeks over due and I due in 6 weeks.  They took me upstairs as they finished registering my friend.  It was a busy night in the L&D, and they were just finishing getting my room ready, so they left me in the hall waiting.  Keep in mind that I am having some pretty good contractions, but I hide it well.  Then, all of a sudden, plans change, I can no longer have the room that they were clearing for me,  they tell me, since I am probably not in labor, they are going to give the room to a woman who just came in who is 2 weeks over due, who they know is going to have a baby tonight.  (yup, that's right, she stole my room!)  They then took me back to what can only be described as a Storage Closet.  There was a cupboard full of supplies, a broken bed, w/o stirrups, a clock and a sink.  They had me climb in and they started an IV.  You're just dehydrated the nurse told me.  I remember hoping that she was right, but knowing that these contractions were awfully strong and horribly familiar.  Everyone was very casual until the resident dr. came into the room and talked to me.  He chatted with us for a bit and then decided that he ought to check and see if I was dilated at all.  Expecting not much, there was some excitement when he told the nurse, "Um, she is at a 7... no wait, and 8!"  Then the fur flew.  Oh my, the woman, in the storage closet who was 33 1/2 weeks is going to deliver any minute!t The NICU team showed up a doctor and a few nurses, a warming bed and a few more nurses.... my little "room" was getting crowded.    My Doctor was there with in 5  minutes and informed me that there was no time for an epidural.  (this did not please me)  I remember grabbing Brent by the front of his shirt and pulling him down to my face and saying "You get me something!!!  I am not doing this with out something, it is going to hurt like H$%#!!!!"  He said "Honey, you don't understand the baby is coming now, they can see him!"  The Dr. Kindly gave me a shot of Lydocane (SP) to numb things up a bit, and out Alex slid.  Yup, a 4 1/2 pounder just slides out.  Really they do!  There is no pushing, just sliding!  They tossed him onto my belly and rubbed him up, he was so small, I could hardly believe it!  What a whirl wind!  I remember the nurse saying "Oh, he is pinking up on room air."  Oh I was so proud of my little man, and then he was snatched from my blissful arms, as a nurse shouted, "he's turning blue!"  Then there was a wall of people between me and my new child, there was beeping and chaos and a WHOLE LOT of acronyms!  I was so worried I was going to loose him.  It makes me sick just thinking about it even today.  They put him on a ventilator and in a closed islet where he stayed for a few days.  I think those few weeks were some of the hardest weeks of my life.  I didn't have a lot of help with Liza, and Brent was still in school, and getting ready for finals none the less.  Back and forth to the hospital, thinking he was doing better then finding out that he stopped breathing several times in the night.  Then thinking he was doing better, then finding out that his heart was stopping through out the day.  Mothers day came and went, and I sat in his hospital room and watched 2 other babys get discharged, and cried that I couldn't take my baby home.  It took a while to get him well and home, but it's likely a good thing because it took us a very long time to name him.  The nurses made fun of us for taking so long.  He was named Alexander because it goes with Elizabeth, yup, that was the thinking, that and it sounds professional, and it has a cute short name, and the name isn't a place of a thing (that is Brent's thing) and, it sounded good with what I wanted to name him which was Jack.  Alex's middle name is Jack, he is named after my Grandfather on the Maternal side.  Grandpa Jack was an inventor and a pilot, and has been my families 'hero' for as long as I can remember.  But that is a story for another post.  

Alexander finally came home with a heart monitor.  It beeped when ever he stopped breathing, or if his heart stopped beating.  He was also on a prescription for caffeine to stimulate his brain to keep him breathing and keep his heart going.  It was an interesting time.  So here he is 7 years later.  Scooby doo is all the rage, that and star wars.  His bestest friends in the whole world and Wyatt and Micah and his cousin Ethan (who he so wishes lived closer)  He usually gets along really well with his sisters and fares pretty well in this house full of girls. Happy Birthday Buddy.  

His party is tomorrow, so I am up writing this at 4 am, after finishing his cake for tomorrow. OOOhhh wee, who's gonna be a craptacular mommy tomorrow?!?!  :-) 

Katie's Birthday

Sweet Little Katie

This is my favorite birthday picture!  She looks so happy.  She carried around this gift for hours with out opening it.  It was so cute.

This is my 3rd, and I believe final Dora cake.  I think I got my $'s worth out of that cake pan.  :-)  Glad Dora stayed "in" for so long.  :-)

Katie didn't know what to think of the candles.  She actually seemed afraid, and never did blow out her candles.  She just stared at them and wondered why we would put fire on Dora and then put it on her lap.  She pretty much sat there with this look on her face until her candles were almost melted down into Dora's hands.  Then she looked like she was going to cry.  Then we helped her blow out the candles.  What a funny girl.

This is my favorite expression, and I love how dirty she is.  This is at the end of the day, after all the festivities.  She was SO excited about new Dora socks, shirt, jammies, swimsuit AND underwear.  She was one happy girl.  She also was excited about her new Cinderella baby, a little people ABC animal set and a talking backpack toy.  What a wonderful Birthday!  Lucky girl!!

Happy Birthday Baby

Sniff.... Today my baby Katie turns 2!  Where on earth does the time go?  Could my baby really be 2?  

Katie has been an absolute joy nearly every day that she has been here with us.  Katherine's middle name is Shirley, and boy does that mean a lot to our family.  Katie will surely continue to carry the name with honor.  She always has a smile for you, and she has quite the sense of humor.  She is such a blessing to our family.  She keeps me grounded when the rest of the kids drive me nuts.  She has a tender heart, and just wants you to be pleased with her.  She loves to color and thus far is left handed (I know, not great, but unique)  She loves to "help" me, and every day she does something to help.  I think she has some good examples in her siblings  that she is trying to be like.   Katie, you're my angel, and my sunshine, and my grace.  I Love you, Happy Birthday Baby!

Back in Business!!!

Whew, that was something else..... I'll tell you what!  But it is "done", I do have a pile of papers to go through, but oh my what I did do!!  I picked away at it for a few days and then finally on Tuesday night I called up my dear friend Scarlett (who just happens to be my Visiting Teacher) and asked her if she would like to come and visit teach me.  I told her my plans to dig through my mess in my basement and asked her to come and keep my company while I did this.  I HONESTLY didn't have any intention of making her work.  I really truly just wanted someone to talk to while I did it.  I work better that way, usually on the phone is when I get my best house work done.  (So if I call you, I am likely cleaning my house)  Anyway....  I don't know what I thought she would do, I guess I figured I would perch her on a stool and have her just sit there and say, "come on, that's trash, throw it out!"  or  "you'll never use that", but Scarlett came over ready to attack!  She buttered me up first with an Arbone Facial, and then she took me down to my basement and Spanked me!  Boy did I get in trouble when she saw my mess.  Her kick in the butt was just what I needed.  We sorted "Clean House" style, with piles, and used several strategy's to get me to let go of stuff.  I got quite the tongue lashing for my endless stash of gifts that I keep on hand for various occasions.  And was banned from all retail therapy.  :-)  It really made it fun to have someone else here with me working toward my goal.  No I didn't take before and after pictures.  That would have been just too embarrassing, but I can tell you this.. I now have some food storage, AND I also have my scrapbooking/ stamping table back, AND I can now get someone to come over and fix my light over my washer and dryer AND, I am having a yard sale on May 17th (come on over and bring your junk too), AND I am feeling about 1000 pounds lighter now that I have that done!  AHHHH, so much better.  

I did however go though with drawls.  I would look at my computer so longingly and when I would help Tori get on line, my home page would pop up and I would see that 14 blogs had been written, and it almost killed me to not read them.  SO SAD, I KNOW!!!  But I missed Blogging and pictures so much!  While i was out I took some photos of Christina on her 30th birthday, and I also got to do my first Maternity pictures.  Here is one picture from each, then I will let these lovely ladies post what ever else they want to share... (when I get them done ehum!)