Crazy

So Brent just got home at 1:30pm after going to work 34 hours ago. He figured out that he has worked 76 hours and slept only 17 hours since Monday morning at 4:00am. There are 129 hours between Monday morning and right now, He was working sleeping or commuting for almost 100 of them. Eating for likely 5-7, so that leaves him with all of 20 or so hours, over a period of 5 days to relax, and see his children, if they were awake and home during those waking hours. He spent the bulk of Wednesday with the two big kids while I was on my way home from Utah, and getting us from the airport and home till the wee hours of the morning. Poor guy, what a crazy schedule, and he wonders why he doesn't have time to play his horn, and serve as well as he would like in a calling. I guess he really does have it harder then I do. (this week anyway. :-) ). The choir is almost done singing, I am going to go finish conference, Hump, not much left. :-( I love conference weekend.

Vent

Warning this post contains whining............
So I just got home yesterday and found clumpy sour milk in my fridge (thank heavens Christina was thoughtful enough to give us some milk that wasn't clumpy), a pile of recycling out on the deck, and a smell that is inexplicable! Of course there was laundry in my suit cases, and laundry here waiting. The house appeared clean till I actually looked and found most things stashed rather then put away. Brent's new rotation at work has him working from 4 am to 6pm every day, some days he is later then 6! He is on call every 4th night. When he is on call he stays at the hospital and he doesn't sleep at all. Yes that is right, your doctor that you see next time you're in the hospital could be determining a treatment for you after not sleeping for up to32 hours. Doesn't that make you feel safe. And we are suing these poor people, we really should be suing the hospitals for over working them! As of Wed, when he picked me up from the airport he had already worked over 40 hours since Monday! This is insane! Last night I stayed up doing laundry and unpacking, I was up until 3am, as i crawled into bed Brent's alarm went off and he got up and got in the shower. :-( CRAZY!! He is on call tonight, and I woke up to a very cranky Tori which turned swiftly into a very sick Tori, she threw up all over my bedroom floor. I took her into the bath tub and while I was cleaning up puke my 9 year old threw a tweeny temper tantrum over a shirt. This tantrum lasted for the better part of a half hour while Tori threw up again after getting out of the tub. At one point she informed me that she was not going to school until I washed the shirt, then my choices changed and she would only go to school if I would wash the shirt and then bring it to her at school. (Like any of that is going to happen?) What are they thinking when they do this? Do they really believe that they have that much power? LOL it was so ridiculous it didn't even really make me mad. So my plans for the day have foiled, I have backed out on poor Vanessa for the 3rd Friday in a row (big jerk!) and we are home bound till our Utah germs subside. :-( Okay, I am done... I feel better now.

Pictures from SLC

I finally got to sort though some pictures. Here are some of my favorites... Okay a lot of favorites. It was an eventful trip. ;-)

Amber Shirley Knapp.... The whole reason for this trip. Isn't she a beauty!!!

Amber and Andrea, right after her first bath. They put the cutest little bow in her hair. A very Proud PaPa. They were so happy and it was wonderful to be there and enjoy the spirit that is present when a new baby comes into the world.
She is about 24 hours old in this picture. She would only sleep if I kept her covered. Here she is getting her bath, this was shot through a window with those stupid wire things running through it, and it was not the cleanest window on the planet either. I am quite happy with the results from this bath shoot. esp considering the conditions. I am standing on a chair in the hall to get this one. Can't you just see it. :-)
Newborn toes. I love all the little signs that she is still in the hospital.

I tried to take some pictures of her, but there was NO natural light in her hospital room. It really stunk. She also wanted to be awake, and I wanted her to be asleep. :-) Humm, so far, she is not doing much of what I want her to do....... Like coming on time! Silly girl.

This is Tori and Brandon, her cousin.... is he just the cutest little thing. This little boy belongs to Brent's brother Brad and his wife Jodilyn. He loved Tori, he is just playing cool. ;-)

Okay, so now that I see all these adorable kids all grouped together, I have to admit, there must be something cute in the wall genes, cuz every one of these little monsters is as cute as can be. Either that or the all the Wall men married well. :-) This is Brad and Jo's littlest one Natalie, she and Katie are a month apart. They were fun to watch. I learned that Katie needs to be spending more time with friends her age, she has become a little hitter, and it has to stop!
Tori looked forward to seeing Uncle Jeff for a long time. She loves him so much. When I told her that we had to go the airport the next morning she cried and cried. She was not ready to leave her Uncle Jeff. They had such a wonderful time together. I took this picture so that she could have it to remember him. It was all I could do to get her to stop crying.

She was just too cute to resist.

This little guy is named Grant, he was adopted from a mother out here near us, some place in Virginia. His parents, who are friends of Andreas, came to stay with us when they were waiting for time to pass until they could take him home. That was a year ago, he has grown so much!

I love the little drop of drool.

Friends so so cute in black and white. :-)Sisters!! Katie was not cooperating while I had the beautiful back drop of my father in laws new home. She really didn't want to take photos. This was the best of a lot of tries!
We went to visit Grandma and Grandpa Davies while we were there. (Brent's moms Parents) The girls loved it and so did Grandma and Grandpa. Grandpa even had some of his delicious Oatmeal choco chip cookies, MY FAVORITE! He makes the BEST ones in the world. We had a great time with them.

We spent a lot of time before Amber came visiting around with family. We had a great visit with Anne in the hospital and another visit with Anne in the Rehabilitation center. I think she really enjoyed Tori's visit and Tori asked over and over to go back and see her again. They were really cute together.

It was so fun to go and visit with family and so wonderful to be there with my little sister and her new baby.

SHE'S HERE!!!!

Finally the long awaited day, our "little" Amber Shirley Knapp arrived this evening a little after 7 pm, after much laboring. Drea started having some pretty good contractions last night and we began timing them. There was really nothing consistent, but she said they were strong. At about midnight we headed downstairs to play a little wii, which btw, i love! Then all of a sudden we started getting regular contractions about 5 min apart. She soon had a REAL contraction and that was really something else to watch. I have never been on the other side of labor, you feel so helpless, I kind of feel bad for the men now. That is a difficult position to be in. She rated her contractions by color, green - easy, yellow - med, and Red - Strong!. She was having a lot of back labor as well and was having quite the time of it. The best part of the whole night of laboring was when she started to have real contractions, the ones where you are in so much pain you don't even know there is anyone around you. This first one caught her by surprise, she started leaning on different pieces of furniture, and the floor trying to find a position that would take away the pain. I had to giggle a little as I watched her basically roll around the basement in search of relief. After it began to die down, I said "I take it that was a red?" and she she replied between breaths, "I think we're going to need a new color!" :-) I laughed so hard. She was such a trooper, she was really tired though, so I told her to go and try to rest and if she can't sleep to come and get me and I would keep her company in the night. She tried to sleep for over an hour, but every time she would fall asleep a contraction would wake her up. She finally ended up back in my room at about 4 am saying "um, Christie, they really hurt." We got up and started 13 going on 30, as we timed contractions. By 6:30 they took a crazy turn and started coming exactly 3 min apart. We woke the sleepy hubby and sent them out the door. At 6:15pm (about 11 hrs after their arrival at the hospital) it was determined that the baby was face up, really big and her body was not going to get to a 10 anytime soon. They took her in and did a section. Baby Amber's head is all cone shaped and bruised from trying to squeeze down the birth canal. Her face is all red, and she looked rather traumatised. Despite all this she is as cute as a button and sweet as sugar. She has quite the little latch and does not have red hair! She has the chubbiest little cheeks. I plan to head over to the hospital tomorrow evening to take pictures if I can find a sitter. I will return home on Wednesday.

As for me, I am so happy that I got to meet her and hold her and I could stay forever and rock her. Today while they were in the hospital I had the wonderful blessing of getting together with my sweet friend Lara. Lara is one of those people who you meet and think, I want to be like her. She is the softest, sweetest, most beautiful lady (inside and out). When her husband got word that I was in town, he took the afternoon off work, and babysat my kids and theirs so that Lara and I could go out to lunch and do what ever we wanted to do. (WHAT A GUY EH??) Lara is a kindred spirit, not in the sense that we have so much in common, I truly feel like Lara and I had a dear friendship in the preexistence. I don't throw this around like anything, rarely do I feel this bond, but Lara is one of those people. We had the most wonderful afternoon, we went out to Cafe Reo (EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!) and then went to fashion place mall and got pedicures and sat in their massage chairs extra long! It was so wonderful. We did a little shopping around as we walked to the nail place and back, so it was a real blast! We talked and talked and she always enlightens me and helps me to see things more clearly. We couldn't take too much advantage of her sweet husband so after about 4 and a half hours we went back to find all alive and well, and SUPER MAN (that's Matt) had even changed Katie's poopy diaper. There were so many tears and hugs at our parting, and as I drove away from her and looked at her in my rear view mirror, I just bawled. It has been 2 1/2 years since our last visit, and that is FAR too long! I don't want to wait that long again! I then drove out to Bountiful to meet with my rockin sister in law Jo, at the McD's we got the kids their delicious, nutritious food, and then talked while they played. After dinner we headed back to their home where Brad (Brent's little brother) took all 5 kiddos and put them to bed while Jo and I went up to see the baby. We got their in time to see her move from Labor and Delivery to Maternity, and to watch and take pics of the first bath. I got to stick around long enough, that I helped Jeffery change a poopy diaper :-), and what I have looked forward to the most, I got to sit with Drea, and help her nurse, like her mom did for me. I can't tell you what it means to me to be able to help her learn such an amazing thing. Little Amber actually weighed in at 9lbs 6 oz, quite the chunk o rama. Pics to come. :-) Well one more day to visit the grave, play with cousins, photograph that curly new baby, and sit with my little Drea once more. I return home Wednesday to releave my two wonderful sweet fantastic friends from the duty of keeping my eldest 2 in line. ;-) Thank you again Jeri and Christina.

She wouldn't have belonged

I am so glad that I had the opportunity to come and visit David and Arbras home. It is beautiful, full of all the wonderful things that any woman would want. Stainless steal appliances in a gorgous kitchen, 5 fridges and 3 freezers, a spacious food storage room, a nook for the grandkids to play, a bose surround sound hooked up on both tvs, new car, 3 car garage, beautiful view, and decorated to the nines, with seasonal decorations galore that are stored in her massive yet organized storage room. Crafty little displays of fall, hay, and wagons and little picket fences, plush lether furnature, $400 mounted fish....Just a stunning home, full of all things beautiful.
She wouldn't have belonged, she wouldn't have known what to do with all this space, she never could have decorated it, she couldn't have ever let herself go financially to spend money on such tomfoolery. NONE of this mattered to her! She would have been uncomfortable in such a place and she would feel so wrong about putting her money into things rather then people. If she ever had a dime, she would have given it away. This is not for her. I see my father in law, a changed man, a man whom is now ruled by the woman in his life. A man who has learned to bite his tounge, and eat his words. He is much more tender and carries a completely different spirit. It is quite unfortunate that mom missed out on that aspect of this life. However I am sure that she knew that side of him, and that is why she put up with so much garbage. She knew the real him, and she had to pass away for him to drop down his walls and let others in to see him for who he is. As for Arbra, I know she will love my children, and for that I am greatful. I have concluded that she is a common woman, who struggles with the same stuggles as anyother woman who is learning and growing and trying to be more like the savior. Her only vice is that she is following a woman who wasn't common, and who rarely struggled to be Christ like. Shirley was someone who I aspire to be like, Arbra is on the same plane as I am, she is learning, and growing. She comes across as quite materialistic, but any woman when compared to Shirley is (including myself). Really it is quite a shame that she never knew mom, for she is a wonderful example of a woman who serves God. I am sure that as Arbra grows the Lord will let her meet a woman like mom, so that she too can see what is truely important.
In short, She is nice enough, I need to try not to pick out her flaws, for we all have so many. I am at peace, and I am suprised. I cried a few tears as I rocked in moms chair, but she is not here..... this is not her home.... She will forever be in my heart, and i will ALWAYS aspire to be like her. I miss her love.

Time to face the music

This morning, I am suffering from much anxiety as today is the day when I meet the "other woman". David (Brent's Dad)has been married nearly 2 years, Brent's mom passed around 2 and a half years ago. I have never met Arbra, and quite honestly, I am very very scared. I am going tonight to stay the night at their home. (I really think I am going to vomit) I am so nervous. I see the necessity of a grandmother for my children, and I want them to have the most normal life possible, but this woman and I have butted heads in the past and I have some really difficult feelings to deal with. I resent the fact that this after noon, I am on my way up the canyon to see their newly built home. My dear mother lived in this old house, with no dishwasher, no storage space, heating and cooling that worked if you tweaked it just right, a kitchen that was built in 1950, (metal cupboards and all), a garbage disposal that backed up on a regular basis which landed her in the "crawl space" digging threw sewage. She had toilets that refused to flush down poop, toilets that backed up all the time, a wood kitchen floor that was never sealed and to her embarrassment was never ever clean because it was full of dirt that wouldn't come out of the woodwork. She wore dresses from 1970, t-shirts and pants with holes, sewed her garments back together again, tailored her families clothes, and watched her family go deeper and deeper in debt and she finagled every last penny around trying to be wise about her money.
I feel so much resentment about the fact that she lived like that and this woman has the house, the dishwasher, the clothes, and the dream!! I know that mom doesn't care, I know that she would tell me that it is okay, and none of that matters, but I am just so upset about it and I can't imagine going there and being able to not show those emotions. It is going to be a rough 24hrs. Coming back to SLC has been a little difficult, but so far I haven't been to the East side, so it hasn't been too bad, but soon I am going to have to go over there and realize that she is gone. Maybe today I need to go to her old house and her grave and take a little closure before I meet this woman. I don't know.... AND to top it all off, I have to go with her to women's conference tonight! ummmm, don't know if I like that idea. :-(

Now I am going to get really mean!

No Baby YET!!! Yesterday we did the second round of Blue and Black cohosh, and nothing! I also took her on a brisk walk which was nice and hilly! We had her running up and down her basement stairs throughout the day. I believe all total she did 25 laps on the stairs. Now it is 7:30 am on friday morning and nothing! Today I shall make her eat Thai food.....lots and lots of Thai food. More stairs, and another brisk yet LONGER walk!!! My little neice has met her match, she may be stubborn, but I am more stubborn then her!!! :-) We are having fun though, Tori has truely enjoyed her visits to see her Auntie Anne in the hospital. She absolutly loves her, and asked all day yetsterday when we were going to go and see her. Does anyone have any more ideas? or posibly a really long, pokey crotchet hook????? I'll Keep ya posted.....