ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS........

We HAD to download the song from i Tunes.  What fun that this happened at this time of year.

  

Alexs story

"When I was little, before we had a dog, I was sitting at the table eating dinner and I felt something furry on my foot and I thought, what was that?  Then the furry thing went by my foot again, and I thought, okay this is weird.  What is that, so I looked under the table and it was dads foot."

We laughed so hard, he told this at dinnertime and we were all into his story wondering what he was going to find under the table.  It was SO funny

Challenge

It seems that my challenge as a mother is to learn how to parent like Our Father in Heaven.   I really have a hard time parenting the way that I want to parent.  I know how I should handle situations, but I constantly find myself reverting back to the ways that I remember being parented.  Now, don't get me wrong, I think that my parents did a pretty good job.  Both my sister and I turned out pretty good, I think, but their ways were not always in conjunction with the way that Heavenly Father parents.   Sometimes I think that I turned out well because I feared my mothers disapproval more then anything in the world, her reaction and withdrawing in anger from me was more then I was willing to face.  I chose the right, most of the time because I couldn't bare to feel like she thought I was lesser of a person.  Until of course I was old enough to understand that she loves me unconditionally and that I need to make choices that please my heavenly father.   So my parenting style tends to fall into this realm of do as I say, or I will withdraw from you, be it withdrawing of your favorite things, or your favorite time, and sometimes even withdrawing me (in the same angry reaction as my mom).  Our Heavenly Father doesn't withdraw himself from us, he never would, He stands at the door, and waits.  I know that this is how I should be, and I try so hard to resist my first reaction to situations.  When I read books and articles from leaders, and members in the the Church (Read this months Presidency Message in the Ensign, it's very good)  on parenting, I am always faced with this inner battle, Like the  battle in heaven.  The Saviors plan of free agency and Satan's plan of controlling our destiny.  I love my kids so much and want for them to excel so much that I want to make their decisions for them, and control them right into adulthood in what ever way that I can, and if that means making them fear me, it was done out of love.  However, I love them too much to take away their agency!  I know that the Lords way is the right way, I guess what it comes down to is control issues.  I don't know when to let them make their own decisions.  A  4 year old for example, she needs some controlling, because she is not old enough just yet to know the consequences of her behavior, however a 9 year old needs much less.... or should need less..... it seems that I really struggle with Liza and her understanding of right and wrong, maybe she understands, and just doesn't care.  What ever the case may be, it seems that she isn't doing so well in the choices department, which brings me to my next issue.  Controlling my tongue.  No I don't curse like a sailor, well not all the time ;-)  I just react in a loud voice..... hummmm sometimes a far too loud voice. I am not a patient woman either, always in a rush.... rush rush rush.....  how annoying to live with!  I have really been working on this lately as I know that it is not right, our lessons/ meetings for the past 2 Sundays  have been on Controlling your tongue.   I have a girlfriend who I admire, and she has a little check list for thinking before you speak....  she always asks herself before she says something....

1. Is it true?

2. Is it kind?

3. Is it necessary?

I love this, I just have to get into my mind to go through them before I open my mouth and start rambling.  I am better at it with adults then i used to be, but still need work, and I really need work with my kids.  They pretty much get what ever pops into my head most of the time.  Usually not too terrible, but not the best either.  I am trying really hard to be a bit more rational and not engage in childish arguing (especially with Alex, he is my debater, and Liza has learned from him how to negotiate.)  I struggle with trying to prove to my kids that I am right, rather then letting it go.  Silly, I know, I usually realize this after the fact.

 

I have to say that i also look at large families in general, you find that as the parents relax with the last children,  those are the kids that fall away, or are lazy, or just stinkers, and that puts the fear in me that if I relax even a drop, one of them will fall away. :-(  I guess I just need to find a good balance, I know that it is out there, I feel like I am on the brink of some major discoveries as I dive into this world of Christ like parenting.  I am going to order some books that were suggested by a friend and wonderful example (thanks Kellie) and we'll see how it goes.  I studied this in school, because I went to Ricks we had a class on "Teach the Child" which is about the Savior way with children, but I never considered that I would have such a hard time applying it with my own children.

My Goals......

1. Use a kind voice and kind words.

2. Love them after discipline

3. Slow down.

4. Hug them more.

5. Be patient as they learn

The Elf on the Shelf

I had to share....

I read about this cute little book on my sisters friends blog and it sounded so cute, I rushed out to buy it.  I will warn you that the price is a little steep, but so cute and worth it if you use it for years to come.  So the book comes with this darling little "traditional style" elf.  The story is about this little elf and his job in your home.  In the book it tells the children that this little fella will go to the North Pole every night and report your behavior to Santa.  He is under strict rules that he is not to speak to you, but you are welcome to tell him what you want for Christmas, and he will deliver your message to Santa.   He tells Santa, about all that you did that day, especially the good stuff.  When he returns, he hides in a new spot, so that you have to find him when you wake up.  On Christmas day, he is gone and will see you again next year.  He also can not be touched, if you touch him, his magic rubs off and he won't be able to report to Santa.  (I like that one cuz then he can't become a toy)  It is really quite a darling little idea.  The kids have loved it so far, and it is nice to make a little reminder comment here or there about what "Dingle" is going to tell Santa today.  The kids seem to like the idea, and they buy it too.  I just thought it was so cute

Fall Pictures

Of Course these were taken before the snow flew.  I have been holding on to them so that I could practice my new photo shop skills on them, but I am tired of waiting for myself, so here are the raw images of my kiddos in the fall leaves in our yard.  BTW, we picked up another 15 bags of leaves for a total of 40 bags!  There are still some in the back that are hanging on to the tree back there.  We'll get em though.

Liza enjoying the fall leaves
Alex was seen once burrowing though the pile of leaves on the driveway, he actually disappeared into the pile head first and tunneled through.  :-)  It was really funny.
That's a pretty cool tongue trick Katie is doing here....  She is so much fun!  She even helped with the leaves, on the first day, but on the second day it was too cold and she and Chinook sat inside with each other watching out the window.  They looked really cute together.
And my ever photogenic Tori, I have so many good shots of this girl.  She loves the Camera and the camera loves her.  I wanted to photo shop her scar, but I guess it tells part of her tale.  She is loosing her curls and that makes me sad.  :-(  But she is still so beautiful.

First Snow

This morning as the girls and I were getting breakfast Alex came running down the stairs in just his pj top, trying to stretch it down so we couldn't see his underwear,  as he announced that it was snowing outside!  We were all so excited to see the seasons first snow fall.  Alex is convinced that if he wears his pajamas inside out and back wards and sings jingle bells out the window, that it will snow.  Up until this morning, it kept "not working", but today, he told us all... "see, it works!"   (From what I understand, one of the teachers at school, I believe it was the music teacher, told the kids this.... odd...)  Anyway,  we had a normal day, with the exception of trying to drive around all these people who think that the sky is falling every time it snows.  When the kids got home from school they played outside for quite some time.  The snow was perfectly sticky, so Alex  got to make his snow balls that he has been waiting to make.  Chinook didn't know what to think.   Although we only got a few inches of snow, it comes right up to his little under belly and mats in his hair on his legs and his tummy.  I can only imagine how cold that is on your bare belly.  He has been good to go potty outside anyway today.  He enjoyed running around the yard with the kids, but got really cold really quick.  He and Tori lasted about the same amount of time.  

The kids are really hoping for a late start tomorrow morning, and to be quite honest so am I.  I don't want them to have the whole day off, but a nice slow morning would be a nice change.  

I am excited for our enrichment christmas deal tomorrow night.  I had to get a sitter so that I could go since Brent is on call.  Friday night I have a date with my sweety, and then Saturday i get to go shopping and to lunch with Tracy.  I am so looking forward to a girls day.  :-)  Boy my night just really perked up as I realized what a great few days I have coming up.  Oh, how I love this season.  :-)  

I couldn't resist posting my puppy.

Come on, wouldn't you let him poop on your floor??  He has been such a joy to me.  Sometimes he annoys the crap out of me, like when I can't even let Katie sit on the floor because he will attack her and pull her clothes off and eat the banana in her hands, but then you just see his little sweet face and forgiven.  AWWW...