I've decided to save my Alex's Birthday post for when we have Baptism pictures to put with them. This post has been brewing in my mind for days and days. It is an apology and an exploration post. I would like to apologize to everyone who has come in contact with me in the past oh, 3 months. I have got myself so wrapped up in this house and the selling that I have forgotten to be a friend to others and have these blinders on to everyone else. This month, with the 2 birthdays in 3 days has really shown me how much more I could be doing. I have been hiding behind my house mess, using it as an excuse to not be involved. Yes, selling your house is difficult, and keeping it clean with 4 kids is a trick, but it is no reason to drop every ball but your own. I've slacked on my Visiting Teaching, I've had two friends go through a very difficult time, and I haven't been there like I could have. When people talk to me at church or otherwise they ask how it's going with the house. I fill their ear with house crap and then walk away, feeling a little better that I've expelled some of my stress, but later realizing that I have NO idea how that person is doing. I've done this in all aspects of my life, at the gym, with family and with friends. This week I watched a video about an old friend of mine who has started an organization called Project Pink this must take so much of her "spare time" and what am I doing with mine? My sister did a "bear crawl" up the butte, in her town to help hunger, and I wanted to donate, but didn't, kept forgetting... then the day came and went, and she put her whole heart into this climb and accomplished her goal, and I couldn't even enter my credit card number on the computer. I am so proud of her, that would be so hard to do. There are just so many opportunities to serve and help others, and I have not been doing any of them. I think this may also be why I haven't been blogging, cuz I feel like I am already spending too much time on me and mine.... Anyway, just the thoughts in my head spewed out on paper. I hope really that this post gets lost between the two birthday posts. I am putting it up for me to have it anyway. Just writing it makes me want to get on things.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I feel like I have been self-absorbed lately too, probably since Greg started residency. I have no excuses anymore. Time to be aware of others. I think you are a great friend to others....
No stress about this, and no comparisons! You are going through something that is consuming, and no one blames you for that. We would all behave in the exact same way. You do not need the added mental stress. Remember, time and season for everything, and give yourself a little break.
I appreciate this post. It is always good to get these things out so you can get a better perspective on things. I have a whole other private blog for that. I'm not even brave enough to let anyone read all my emotional spewing. Thanks for being so honest and dear and full of love for others that you would even feel this way. I love you, friend.
Oh friend. You're doing a huge job. I get down on myself a lot too for not doing as much as I think I could, but I think in the end it's healthy because it usually ends up with me really trying to do better :) You sure did right by me, sweet friend. I'll never forget it :)
Post a Comment