DAP

Developmentally

Appropriate

Practice

The term developmentally appropriate practice, or DAP for short, refers to a framework of principles and guidelines for practice that promotes young children's optimal learning and development.

What happened to this concept? Are we expecting just a little too much out of these kids. Think back to when you were 6, 8, 10 years old. What were you doing from day to day? Were you getting up at 6:45 am, and heading off to school by 7:30, where you stayed for the next 8 hours? During that school timedid you have PE only every other day? During that 8 hours did you have to eat your lunch in silence? During that 8 hours did you get a whole 1/2 hour break where you were free to play only the games that are permitted by the school? When you arrived home, at 4:30 pm did you shove in a snack and get straight back to your homework, cuz if you didn't you wouldn't be able to get it done in time to go to cub scouts by 7pm? Was dinner something that fit between homework assignments? Did you have to stay up till 8:30-9:00 just to find the time to take a shower?

What ever happened to childhood? Skipping, biking, playing with the neighborhood kids?

Has anyone else noticed the work load that we (as a society) are putting on the shoulders of these children? This has been bothering me for years, and has just recently come to a head. Alex is my high strung child, and is easily stressed out. Liza could care less if she gets all the stuff done or not. Tori, is a perfectionist and will do it over and over until you tell her that it is great. Liza has handled these unreasonable expectations rather well. She is able to skip off and forget her responsibilities, and lets bad grades roll off her back. (which is good and bad at the same time) Alex on the other hand is a stress case. He hates getting bad grades and feels that his grades are a reflection of who he is. (which is good in that he cares, and bad in that he is really getting down on himself)

Last Saturday, after a crushing week for Alex, we opted to give the kids the "day off". We took them out for breakfast, and then they were not required to do their Saturday jobs. They were free to spend the day playing around the house, and being kids. I think they all really needed it. As I try to teach my children responsibility to home and family, I am met with this crazy school schedule, and I feel sorry for them somedays cuz the minute the homework is done, there is a dishwasher to unload, a table to set, or laundry to put away.

Alex is having trouble at school. If you don't know my sweet boy, he is an introvert. He enjoys chess, yoyo, golf, and any such activities where he is not having to be around a whole lot of people. He likes to play with friends, but he likes to only play with one or two. He spends a lot of time in his own head, he always has, since he was very little. He thinks things through quite thoroughly, but he does this in his own time. He is almost always the last child to get in the car, the last child up to the table. He needs to complete his thought or activity before moving to the next. Not always, but often. So he has trouble at school, he is the last one to catch on that the class is lining up, he gazes off into space when the teacher is talking and can become so captivated with a paperclip that he has no idea what is going on around him. He is not trying to be bad, he really wants to do better, but he seems to be in his own realm. His teacher this year is NOT fond of his scatterbrained behavior and is punishing him by taking away that only 1/2 hour of not work time that he has. He has been in trouble for getting up to get a book, stepping out of line to sip from the water fountain, then the frosting was this week when he hit his breaking point during a game, and said "damn it" when he got "out". He got a principal write up and lost his recess for that one.

I could take it no longer... Brent and I went to visit with the principal. We felt that he was being a little picked on. The principal was wonderful, she agreed with us, and is going to work with us and Alex. She suggested getting the guidance councilor involved for Alex's feelings. (he has said "I'm going to kill myself" 3 times since school started, and refers to himself and dumb, and stupid) She wonders if he may have some Anxiety, which wouldn't surprise me.

We are feeling much better this week. So glad, and I hope this lasts. But I wish that the schools would back off a bit and let children be children. Not little adults. They have the rest of their lives to be that.