Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am fascinated with parenting strategies. I love to read parenting books and magazines. I've kind of slowed down on this exploration in the past 2 years because I have found that no one really wants to hear about my research (it's hard to talk parenting with your pals cuz it comes across as advice giving, which is not how it is intended) Anyway... I do so love a good parenting book, and books and materials from Richard and Linda Eyre are found on my shelves, so imagine my excitement when I saw today that they would be speaking at the Temple visitors center!!! I quickly passed the word around, but had no takers so headed off to the lecture solo. OH it was SO worth it. I loved it! I was told to take good notes, so here ya go.
They started off by saying that families need to be playing Offensively, not just defensively. They spoke of families needing an infrastructure and related a family to a business. They asked what you need to run a business, even the church is run this way.
1) Code of Conduct: A "Law" if you will. (pointing out that the word Law holds more respect then the word rule) Their family's laws 1. Peace 2. Respect 3. Asking 4. Order 5. Obedience
2) Mission Statement: Every family needs a mission statement... should be established by the whole family... have children bring their ideas, and try to incorporate everyones ideas in the statement.
3) Authority: You are not here to be your child's friend, should the children have a say, sure, but parents have Veto power in all family decisions. Children who are over disciplined and children who are under disciplined are the kids that end up in trouble, mediation in all things.
4) Traditions: Families need good strong traditions to hold on to. Make a special book about the traditions in your family. These bonds are what keep your kids connected to you, even as they grow to be teenagers.
5) Incentive: Economy. Ownership is a prerequisite for Responsibility. Teach your children how to earn and spend money. They had a fun idea that is VERY similar to what I do with my kids to help with this concept. It works and teaches children great responsibility.
6) Goals: Have your children set their own goals, with out your ideas. Set academic, Extra curricular and character goals. Have then check in with their goals often, if they set the goal, they will own that goal. Also give each child a special book for "Decisions I've Already Made" Talk to your child about what decisions they have already made and then give them "case studies" as a way to assure that they are committed to them, for example, when the child says, "i will Never do drugs." You say, "but what if you really like this boy, and your at a party and it's just a little white pill? what are you going to do?" After they have answered a few questions then say "I see that you are certainly committed to this decision, why don't you go ahead and write that in your book and sign it."
7) Meetings: Family Home Evening, Family council. Plan your week, open up the floor for discussions. etc..
Other things they discussed
-teenagers talk late at night and in the car, this is where they open up, so be open to those moments.
-parents need to talk about sex with their children younger and younger. Check out www.valuesparenting.com for TONS of ideas.
-take a night every month to sit down with your spouse and to a 5 facet review on each child. Write down their name and how they are doing Physically, Emotionally, Socially, Mentally, and Spiritually. Explore each child's issues and catch them early. You are the ONLY expert on your children! Every child is different and needs to be dealt with differently. Pay attention.
F - Fun, Fulfilling
A - Accept two Realities a) kids are unique b) they only live with you for 1/5th of your life.
M - Meetings and Mission Statement
I - Infrastructure
L - Love (and 11 other monthly values... this is from their book "Teaching your children Values"
Y - YOU are the only Expert on your child!
Ask your children every day.... "what did you do today to become closer to Jesus."
I just eat up this kind of info... I love it. This meeting was awesome and I am so glad that i got to attend. :-) Thanks to Brent for taking the bedtime craziness so I could go.
9 comments:
I enjoy talking about parenting too. It is just "implementing" the ideas that are hard for me! You are such a good mom.
This is awesome. I am bummed that I did not know about this, I totally would have gone. Thanks for posting a summary. You can talk about parenting all you want, I love hearing others ideas because I learn so much.
you rock! i was going to ask you about it... but you beat me, and just brought the devotional to me. ;) thanks!
Sounds cool! Guess I should pull that book out again. There was a lot of good info in it. It was just a bit overwhelming thinking you had to do everything, but I think I know now that tackling just one thing at a time may be a better way to handle it. The whole program was a little much to do at once. So awesome that you got to go. :D I would have gone with you!
That sounded like an awesome lecture! Thanks for the great info - I think making a book about family traditions is such a cool idea!
You took great notes! Thanks for sharing them with us. There are some wonderful ideas here.
Wow, I can't believe you enjoy that stuff. I just try to make it through the day without someone getting hurt ;).
1/5 of my life - that seems so short. But daily it seems so long. Crazy how that works! Thanks for posting this:)
PS I love the new picture of katie! Your "baby" is getting pretty big! Great photo:)
Sounds like it was really good! Alot of GREAT points! I would have gone with you!
Post a Comment